I know you can think of a time when you were networking and a very smiley, ambitious attendee came up and shook your hand, eagerly offering their business card and a 20 minute spiel of what they do. No matter what their line of work, you’re instantaneously bored just because of how they started the conversation. That’s because nobody actually enjoys listening to others talk about themselves. Certainly not a long ramble without an invitation。
想象一下，在一次社交活動(dòng)中，一個(gè)笑容燦爛，有雄心的參與者過來跟你握手，接著熱心地遞給你名片，同時(shí)針對(duì)他的工作進(jìn)行了20分鐘的高談闊論。不管他們從事什么行業(yè)，你會(huì)立刻覺得反感，僅僅由于他們搭訕的方式。實(shí)際上，那是因?yàn)闆]有人喜歡聽對(duì)方談?wù)撍麄冏约?。?dāng)然，沒有邀請(qǐng)函的一次漫游除外。

But even though you might be annoyed by the idea, can you also remember a time when you were at a similar event and then ended up being that person?

但即使你可能被這件事打擾了，可你也許會(huì)想起，某次，你也處于類似的事件中，而結(jié)果你就是那個(gè)“參與者”？

Maybe it happened because you actually think what you do is interesting to everyone or you were nervous about what you should be doing in that environment and you were just trying to fill conversation。

也許類似情況發(fā)生過，由于你認(rèn)為，你所做的對(duì)每個(gè)人來說是件有趣味的事，或者是你在那種場合下，對(duì)自己該怎樣做感到很緊張，僅僅是盡量做到有話可說。

But doing this is how you end up further back from where you started。

但這樣做恰恰會(huì)導(dǎo)致最終結(jié)果更背離你的初衷。

When you approach the idea of networking as a ‘do or die’ situation, you’re going to get nothing (especially valuable contacts) out of it. In a world full of social media generated conversation, “building relationships” is one of the biggest buzz phrases — and with good reason. You’re not going to be remembered unless you’ve provided value . And blabbering on and on to grow awareness of what you do professionally and how you can be hired isn’t valuable. You need to go above and beyond to be different than everyone else by tailoring the conversation to always benefit others. These steps will help you become the most interesting person in the room (even if you’re an introvert) and grow a strong and valuable network of people:

當(dāng)你處于“決一死戰(zhàn)”的社交情形時(shí)，你從中什么也得不到(特別是有價(jià)值的信息)。在這個(gè)以談話交流作為社交媒介的世界里，“建立社交網(wǎng)絡(luò)”是最熱門的詞匯，且有足夠的理由那樣做。你不會(huì)被人記住，除非你給了他們 好處 。胡扯你專業(yè)意識(shí)的提升和你如何能被雇傭，是毫無價(jià)值的。

如果你要出席一場社交活動(dòng)，應(yīng)該追求從中獲利的最大化。

你需要超越自己，做到與眾不同，還要精簡談話內(nèi)容從而獲益。這將使你在特定空間內(nèi)成為最有魅力的人(即使你是性格內(nèi)向的人)，并使你變成一個(gè)強(qiáng)大而有價(jià)值的社交達(dá)人：

1. Be picky about giving out business cards. When someone approaches me with a business card in my hand before I can even introduce myself, they’re already dismissed as someone I would be interested in learning about. You are not more legitimate to me if you printed your information on a fancy piece of paper. You’ve only wasted more trees by giving them to people you don’t know are interested in working with you. Carry only a couple of cards with you at a time and don’t even pull your wallet out to trade until you’ve had a conversation that would lead you to believe there is a possibility to work together or help grow your networks. (Don’t feel bad if you run out. You were just that popular。)

1、設(shè)定在分發(fā)名片上。 當(dāng)有人接近我，甚至在我還沒自我介紹，就順手把名片遞給我時(shí)，那么我可以不理他們，因?yàn)樗麄冋J(rèn)為我理應(yīng)去認(rèn)識(shí)他們。把你的個(gè)人信息印在一張奇幻的紙上，對(duì)我來說，是非常合理的。給那些在場的陌生人分發(fā)奇幻的紙，你僅僅是浪費(fèi)了些木材，但他們會(huì)覺得跟你合作一定很有趣。每次僅隨身帶些紙牌，甚至你不用拿出皮夾子去交換名片，你已經(jīng)獲得了談話機(jī)會(huì)，那會(huì)促使別人考慮與你合作的的可能性或擴(kuò)大了你的社交范圍。(假如用完了也不要泄氣。反正你也出名了。)

2. Drop the elevator speech. The idea of having a pitch ready before you even arrive should make you want to gag. Because it will definitely have that effect on your unexpecting audience. You don’t need to recite business goodness to impress. Just feel out the environment and go with the flow. Obviously you’ll be asked what you do for a living because that’s what we have been trained to do in conversation. What will really intrigue is if you take this opportunity to explain how you help people reach their goals. When phrased this way, it makes you sound like a superhero. To give you an example, if you and I met I would say that “I help businesses grow brand awareness and increase sales by teaching and helping create content with social video”. That’s much more interesting than the typical ‘position, title, and opportunities I’m open to’ speech. I’ve shaped my explanation to lead to relevant conversation that will leave an impression on my audience, possibly triggering referrals or perhaps looking at their own needs to see how I can help them。

2、直奔主題。 在到達(dá)之前你就有這種超前想法，也許會(huì)讓你有種想要嘔吐的感覺。因?yàn)樗鼘?huì)對(duì)你不期待的聽眾產(chǎn)生重要影響。你不需要背誦商業(yè)道德來加深印象。只要摸清環(huán)境，順其自然就行。很明顯你會(huì)被問到，你是做什么謀生的，因?yàn)槟蔷褪俏覀兣嘤?xùn)中提到的談話時(shí)所要做的事。真正的詭計(jì)是你是否利用這個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)來講解你是如何幫助人們達(dá)到他們目標(biāo)。如果這樣措辭，會(huì)使你聽起來像個(gè)超級(jí)英雄。舉個(gè)例子，假如我和你偶遇，我會(huì)說：“通過教學(xué)和輔導(dǎo)創(chuàng)作社交視頻，我能提高企業(yè)品牌知名度并提高銷售量。”那樣與對(duì)‘我所擁有的職位、頭銜和機(jī)會(huì)’的傳統(tǒng)演講相比，會(huì)更有吸引力。我已經(jīng)形成了針對(duì)相關(guān)談話的獨(dú)特演講能力，這樣會(huì)給我的聽眾留下好印象，或許會(huì)被舉薦，或許會(huì)根據(jù)他們所需看我怎樣能幫助他們。

3. Don’t talk. Ask questions and then listen. Like I said before, no one likes to hear other people talk about themselves. But they will think you’re the most interesting person in the world if you want to know more about them. So ask questions and listen. Learn about the people you’re networking with and actually build upon a meaningful conversation that will make exchanging business cards more effective in the end. The more you ask about them, the more they will want to know about you for being interested in them。

3、不要閑聊，提出問題然后傾聽。 正如我前面所說，沒有人喜歡聽對(duì)方談?wù)撍麄冏约骸５?，如果你想要更多地了解他們，你就得傾聽，讓他們覺得你是世上最有魅力的人。因此，提出問題，然后傾聽。更多地了解將與你交往的人，并真實(shí)地建立一次有意義的談話，它最終會(huì)使交換名片變得更有影響力。你提問得越多，他們將會(huì)越想了解你，因?yàn)槟銓?duì)他們有興趣。 (稿源：有道詞典)