幽默英語段子，附帶中文翻譯，喜歡可以分享一下。

1.She has been chasing a stewardess for two years. She did not agree with me. Once, she was sick late at night She came to our hospital, and when she went in for the examination, her cell phone was in my hand. Then her mother called, and I picked up the phone and called her. Then I explained that we were in the hospital for the examination. She just came back to snatch the electricity to talk for a long time, hung up the phone to me glumly of say: can bear you you, my mother let me take you home.

追空姐二年了，她死活不同意，有次深夜她不舒服她去檢查……正好來我們醫(yī)院，她進(jìn)去檢查時，手機放在我這，這時她媽來電話了，我腦袋一抽接起電話叫了聲媽，然后又解釋道：我們在醫(yī)院檢查呢。她剛好回來搶過電話說了很久，掛了電話幽怨的對我說:能耐了了你你，我媽讓我?guī)慊丶摇?/span>

2.The son ask: old daddy, before inject why should wipe cotton ball first? The father said, that's alcohol. The goal is to get your butt wiped and then give the injection so you don't feel any pain. The son say: but wiped alcohol, my bottom still pain! Father: maybe your butt is better.

兒子問：老爸，打針前為什么都要先擦一下棉球啊？父親說：那是酒精，目的就是先把你的屁股給擦醉了，然后再打針的話就感覺不到痛了。兒子說：可是擦了酒精，我屁股還是痛??！父親說：可能是你屁股的酒量比較好吧！

3.The elder sister married when the mother gave a lot of dowry, younger sister very jealous: mom, I grew up to also want to marry, you prepare for me what? Mom sighed: a house, a car, and some cash. Sister: so much! Mom: marry you? It's just a matter of putting the blame on others.

姐姐嫁人的時候媽媽給了好多嫁妝， 妹妹很眼紅：媽，我長大了也要嫁人，你給我準(zhǔn)備啥？ 老媽嘆氣道：一套房子，一部車子，再準(zhǔn)備一些現(xiàn)金。 妹妹：這么多！ 老媽：嫁你？就是嫁禍于人啊，給太少，我良心上過不去。

4.Walking with her girlfriend, she asked, "where are you taking it?" I: "sold you". Girl friend: "sell to my father mother!" I: "that tell me your mama number, I send a message to your mama to say: your daughter is in my hand, tomorrow noon I want to son arrive 5 million, otherwise... " Girl friend suddenly cut in to say:" otherwise you wait for to embrace grandson!! "

和女友散步，走著走著她問道：“你要帶到哪兒去呀？”我：“把你賣了”。女友：“賣給我爸爸媽媽吧！”我：“那把你媽媽號碼告訴我，我給你媽發(fā)信息說：你女兒在我手上，明天中午之前我要兒到500萬，不然。。。”二貨女友突然插嘴說：“不然你就等著抱孫子吧??！”