There are advantages and disadvantages to coming from a large family. Make that a large family with a single parent, and they double. The disadvantages are never so apparent as when someone wants to go off to college. Parents have cashed in life insurance policies to cover the cost of one year.

My mother knew that she could not send me to college and pay for it. She worked in a retail store and made just enough to pay the bills and take care of the other children at home. If I wanted to go to college, it was up to me to find out how to get there.

I found that I qualified for some grants because of the size of our family, my mom"s income and my SAT scores. There was enough to cover school and books, but not enough for room and board. I accepted a job as part of a work-study program. While not glamorous, it was one I could do. I washed dishes in the school cafeteria.

To help myself study, I made flash cards that fit perfectly on the large metal dishwasher. After I loaded the racks, I stood there and flipped cards, learning the makeup of atoms while water and steam broke them down all around me. I learned how to make y equal to z while placing dishes in stacks. My wrinkled fingers flipped many a card, and many times my tired brain drifted off, and a glass would crash to the floor. My grades went up and down. It was the hardest work I had ever done.

Just when I thought the bottom was going to drop out of my college career, an angel appeared. Well, one of those that are on earth, without wings.

“I heard that you need some help,” he said.

“What do you mean?” I asked, trying to figure out which area of my life he meant.

“Financially, to stay in school.”

“Well, I make it okay. I just have trouble working all these hours and finding time to study.”

“Well, I think I have a way to help you out.”

He went on to explain that his grandparents needed help on the weekends. All that was required of me was cooking meals and helping them get in and out of bed in the morning and evening. The job paid four hundred dollars a month, twice the money I was making washing dishes. Now I would have time to study. I went to meet his grandparents and accepted the job.

My first discovery was his grandmother"s great love of music. She spent hours playing her old, off-key piano. One day, she told me I didn"t have enough fun in my life and took it upon herself to teach me the art.

Grandma was impressed with my ability and encouraged me to continue. Weekends in their house became more than just books and cooking,they were filled with the wonderful sounds of the out-of-tune piano and two very out-of-tune singers.

When Christmas break came, Grandma got a chest cold, and I was afraid to leave her. I hadn"t been home since Labor Day, and my family was anxious to see me. I agreed to come home, but for two weeks instead of four, so I could return to Grandma and Grandpa. I said my good-byes, arranged for their temporary care and return home.

As I was loading my car to go back to school, the phone rang.

“Daneen, don"t rush back,” he said.

“Why? What"s wrong?” I asked, panic rising.

“Grandma died last night, and we have decided to put Grandpa in a retirement home. I"m sorry.”

I hung up the phone feeling like my world had ended. I had lost my friend, and that was far worse than knowing I would have to return to dishwashing.

I went back at the end of four weeks, asking to begin the work-study program again. The financial aid advisor looked at me as if I had lost my mind. I explained my position, then he smiled and slid me an envelope. “This is for you,” he said.

It was from grandma. She had known how sick she was. In the envelope was enough money to pay for the rest of my school year and a request that I take piano lessons in her memory.

I don"t think “The Old Grey Mare” was even played with more feeling than it was my second year in college. Now, years later, when I walk by a piano, I smile and think of Grandma. She is tearing up the ivories in heaven, I am sure.

來自大家庭既有好處也有壞處。如果是個單親大家庭，好壞都會變成雙倍。當(dāng)有人要離家去念大學(xué)時，壞處尤其明顯。為了支付一年的開銷，父母只好將壽險兌換成現(xiàn)金。

母親一早知道她無力送我上學(xué)與支付學(xué)費(fèi)。她在一家零售店工作，掙的錢剛夠養(yǎng)活家里的其他孩子。如果我想上大學(xué)，就得自食其力。

我發(fā)現(xiàn)我的家庭人口、媽媽的收入與我的學(xué)業(yè)能力測試分?jǐn)?shù)符合拿助學(xué)金的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。那只足夠用來交學(xué)費(fèi)和買書，但維持不了食宿。于是我半工半讀，找了一份工作。雖然工作不討人喜歡，可那是我力所能及的事情。我在學(xué)校飯?zhí)美锵赐搿?br />
為了促進(jìn)學(xué)習(xí)，我做了一副恰好能裝在大金屬洗碗機(jī)上的學(xué)習(xí)卡。把碗碟放在架子上之后，我就站在那兒翻卡片，四周彌漫著水汽，而我在學(xué)習(xí)原子的構(gòu)成。我學(xué)會了如何在疊碟子的時候背下方程式。我起皺的手指翻過許多卡片，很多時候我疲倦的大腦恍恍惚惚，令玻璃杯也摔破到地上。我的成績時起時落。那是我做過的最艱難的工作。

正當(dāng)我的大學(xué)學(xué)業(yè)快進(jìn)行不下去時，天使出現(xiàn)了。是在地球上的天使，沒翅膀的。

“我聽說你需要幫助，”他說。

“你說什么？”我問道，竭力想弄清楚他說的是我生活中的那些方面。

“經(jīng)濟(jì)上的，留校念書?！?br />
“這個，我還好。只是我工作得太久了，找不到讀書的時間?！?br />
“啊，我想我可以有辦法幫你一把。”

接著他解釋道，他的祖父母周末需要人幫助。我只用做做飯、早晚幫他們上下床就好了。這份工作的報酬是一個月四百美元，兩倍于我洗碗賺的錢。現(xiàn)在我可以有學(xué)習(xí)的時間了。我去與他的祖父母見面并接下了工作。

我的第一個發(fā)現(xiàn)是他的祖母無比熱愛音樂。她許多時候都在彈她那架又舊變調(diào)的鋼琴。有一天，她說我的生活缺乏樂趣，并執(zhí)意親自教我藝術(shù)。

祖母非常贊賞我的能力，她鼓勵我繼續(xù)學(xué)下去。在他們家度過的周末并非只有書本與烹調(diào)；那些日子里洋溢著走調(diào)鋼琴與兩個走調(diào)歌手的動人音樂和歌聲。

圣誕假期來臨了，祖母患上胸口冷的疾病，我非常不愿離開她?？勺詮膭趧庸?jié)后我就沒回家，家人都急切希望見到我。所以我還是同意回家去，但只住上兩周而不是四周，然后我就回來看祖母和祖父。我道了別，安排好他倆的暫時看護(hù)后就回家去了。

等我裝車要返校的時候，電話響了。

“丹寧，別趕回來了，”他說。

“怎么了？出什么事了？”我心急火燎地問。

“祖母昨晚去世了，我們決定讓祖父搬到老年人之家去。很抱歉。”

我掛上電話，感覺世界末日到了一般。我失去了我的朋友，那比起知道我還得回去洗碗要糟糕得多。

四周后我回去要求再加入半工半讀計劃。獎助學(xué)金顧問看著我的模樣好像我瘋了似的。我解釋了自己的情況，他于是微笑著傳給我一個信封。”給你的，”他說。

是祖母的信。她早已知道自己的病情有多嚴(yán)重了。信封里有足夠的錢支付我剩下幾年的學(xué)費(fèi)，她還請求我去上她記憶中的鋼琴課。

我覺得《那匹老灰馬》不會再有大二時我彈的那樣深情。如今，多年之后，當(dāng)我走過鋼琴旁，我總會微笑著想起祖母。她正在天堂里大彈特彈著鋼琴呢，我敢肯定。